Lillianna DuVince's Inbox

Hey guys! I've been requested to share more notes from Lilliana DuVince, YOUR child's teacher, so I decided to peek in her inbox-and share her replies. I wouldn't, of course, if I didn't know she didn't believe in suing.

Inbox 1: A Note from A Parent

Dear Miss DuVince,
I am convinced you have destroyed my Martha Anne. Every day she comes home with a new senseless romance novel by someone named Rebekah Starpaw. I have told her countless times that that is not appropriate for a third grader, but she just gibberished at me somethin' about inspiration and unique individual choice or somethin' like that. I was surprised, I'll let you know,little Miss Inspiration Unique Individual Choice. I think you should add How to Fry Bacon and other Household Know-how knacks to your class library. It may help Martha Anne's reading choices.
Frostily,
Mrs. Down To Earth


Dear Mrs. Earth
Why? Why sting me with the poison darts of disapproval? Why hurt me with the sword of anger? Why whip me with the switch of lack of inspiration and unique individual choice? "When you prick me, do I not bleed?" Miss Starpaw's books are full of truth and light that I can see are clearly lacking in your cold, dark mind. You are to be pitied, Down. Pitied. If you cannot bring yourself to appreciate literature, please don't inflict your non-information on others.
Very Very Very Very Very Very Sincerely,
Lilliana DuVince
YOUR child's teacher!
Official fan of senseless romance novels


Inbox No. 2

MISS DUVINCE-
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO CLEAN UP YOUR POODLE'S MESS IN THE HALLS??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANGRILY,
MR. CLEANHALLFREAK

Mr. Cleanhallfreak-
76 times, and counting.
I hope that answers your question.
-Miss Lilliana DuVince
YOUR fellow teacher!

Comments

  1. X"D I burst out laughing so hard that I started to the noise-less laughing (which resembles wheezing and gasping while twitching), so Danny asked me if I was having a seizure!

    "Rebekah Starpaw". I wonder who that could be ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the highest praise you can give. :)
      I wonder too...

      Delete
  2. Haha! I love the complimentary (and not-so-complimentary) closing words :)

    Delightedly,
    Kathryn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Miss Kathryn,
      Thank you for the compliment! I am sending this by way of my friend and colleague, Ilse the Imaginer, because I do not believe in email. I do try to use my imagination in this life.
      Smilingly,
      Lilliana DuVince
      YOUR favorite teacher!

      Delete

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